you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
