Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
