no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
