we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
