My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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