what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
