what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
