She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize