Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
