What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
