Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I want a musical about memes.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
