there's paper in my vomit.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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