Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize