okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
