haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
