this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
