I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
