3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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