Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
