I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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