uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
