can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
