with your own penis?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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