"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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