i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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