but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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