Do vagina's smell?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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