FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
