I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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