Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
