Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
