he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
