Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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