So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
