Your tits are I can't wait for
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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