Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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