guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
birth control should be required to get into college
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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