I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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