Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
