New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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