She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
