just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
