with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
