Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
