His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
