...so i touched it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
