Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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