so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
