haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
