You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
