We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
