how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
