I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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