Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
