Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
