everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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