Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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