I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
