i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We need to rekindle our bromance
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
