Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
