i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
