i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
